First Day of School

Hari ini merupakan hari pertama persekolahan bagi tahun 2012. Hari ini juga saya dapati kebanyakan postings di FB adalah mengenai anak-anak dan kerenah mereka di hari pertama persekolahan. Ada yang baru masuk tadika atau kindergarten damn ada juga yang baru masuk sekolah rendah. (Untuk yang baru masuk sekolah menengah rasanya saya tak jumpa lagi... Anaknya segan la kut.. Haha)

Hubby and I had just dropped our three musketeers at their school this morning. I was nervous like crazy. The father couldn't sleep the whole night. He said he was nervous too... I guess every parents are. I am worried because the children are going to a new school. New school means new environment, new set of friends, new set of teachers. Am not so much worried about Little Rose. She's smart and very independent. I am, or rather, we are more concerned about her brothers, Asyraff and Aimar. After what we have witnessed this morning when we dropped them off, I am even more worried than ever...

Whe we arrived at the school this morning, it was quite chaotic! We didn't know who among them were the teachers. Children were running around the place, some were screaming, some were crying, a few others were playing. We didn't want to just 'dump' the children like that and leave?! They wouldn't know who's who! Initially we decided to just leave them... I thought "Minta2 they won't cry lah, please.."

Suddenly I felt a tug on my pants and saw Rose was hugging my leg. She was about to cry. I picked her up, thought of handing her over to the teachers, but who??? Angin betol! After coaxing her down, I asked from one of the ladies (which I main tembak jek, wasn't sure if she was a teacher or not, and luckily I was right!) for a masking tape and a marker. She asked me what for. Told them I needed to tag my children so that they know who's who! Nasib baek laa I didn't raise my voice. Geramm dah nih.. 

While waiting for the items I've asked for, my eye caught something on the shirt of one of the children. Ehh?? They have prepared a tag! But where are they?? None of the teachers bother to inform the parents where the tags were. Like they were so so confident that they were gonna get it right! Righttt... Punya ramai budak, larat ker?? I went around the room and found the tags being arranged according to colours. Saw Rose's in purple, and the boys' tags in pink. PINK???!! (I could only shake my head quietly.. What the...)

Anyway, so I called them, tagged them, said my goodbyes, and slowly made my move. A teacher came up to me and asked, "You were looking for a masking tape just now?" Ish ish... Berzaman nunggu baru sekarang nak tanya kaa?? I told her I don't need it any more because I have already found the tags. She nodded and left.

I felt like banging my head on the wall.

Slowly and quietly, I left the room. Almost tip-toeing jugak... Asyraff suddenly appeared behind me. Ushered him back to play with the other children. Continued my journey to the door. Outside, a makcik with her maid were standing. "First time pisah dengan budak2 ke?" makcik asked. "No," I answered. "Cuma pasal ni skolah baru, tu jer".

In the car, I told hubby about what happened inside. Both of us were sighing... We just hope that things will be alright... 

Anyway, here's the pic of them before entering the school this morning.. Adorable.. :)

To A Child, LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E

I stumbled upon a video today which brought tears to my eyes... I have to give credits to the guys who did it... The story was of an old man who went to the attic to look for something but found something else instead... The old photo albums and a diary of his son. What happens next? You can watch the video yourself, here...

To a Child LOVE is Spelled T-I-M-E - Video - Beliefnet.com

There's a quote that they put together with the vid. It says:

"To the world you may be just one person... But to the one person, you might just be the world..."

Kadang-kadang sebagai ibu bapa, kita teramat sibuk bekerja sampai ada masanya kita terlupa satu perkara yang amat penting dalam kehidupan sebagai sebuah keluarga, iaitu bersama anak-anak. Nak kata kita tak sayang, tidak sama sekali. Kita amat menyayangi mereka. Oleh kerana kita teramat menyayangi merekalah maka kita bekerja kuat. Kita bekerja kuat kerana kita ingin menyediakan yang terbaik untuk anak-anak kita. Tetapi dalam pada kita ingin menyediakan yang terbaik untuk anak-anak, kita terlepas pandang akan betapa pentingnya juga untuk kita sebagai ibu bapa untuk meluangkan masa bersama anak-anak kita. Saya pun begitu... Tidak saya nafikan ada kalanya saya merasa amat kesal kerana kurang meluangkan masa bersama anak-anak. Meluangkan masa ini bukannya hanya dengan berada di rumah setiap masa, tetapi lebih kepada masa berkualiti untuk berinteraksi bersama anak-anak, bermain bergurau bercerita bersama. Itu yang saya maksudkan.

Kekesalan saya selalunya timbul ketika bersolat. Ketika memanjatkan kesyukuran kepada Yang Maha Esa atas segala kebahagiaan, keceriaan dan rezeki yang telah saya terima daripada-Nya. Ketika berdoa kepada-Nya, memohon kekuatan, semangat dan panduan dalam menjalani kehidupan sebagai ibu kepada 3 permata hati yang mana 2 daripada mereka adalah kanak-kanak autistik. Hati saya selalu tersentuh apabila mengenangkan betapa saya menyayangi mereka tetapi kadang-kadang 'terlupa' meluangkan masa bersama mereka. Hampir setiap masa, apabila berdoa bersendirian, air mata saya jatuh. Tidak tertanggung rasa beban hati ini. Teramat kesal kerana mereka dianugerahkan kepada saya dan suami oleh-Nya untuk dijaga dan disayangi, tetapi saya terkadang leka dalam memberikan mereka peluang dan masa untuk berkomunikasi dengan saya dan suami.

Asyraff dan Aimar adalah kanak-kanak amat penyayang. Begitu juga dengan Rose Aiesya. They're a bunch of happy children! :) Walaupun didiagnosis sebagai kanak-kanak autistik, Asyraff dan Aimar faham makna 'sayang', 'hug-hug', 'kiss-kiss'. Kadang kala mereka secara tiba-tiba tanpa diminta akan datang memeluk saya atau Papanya, dipeluk cium segala. Cuma saya terkadang perasan, saya membalas dengan hanya ala kadar kerana ingin mengejar masa. Masa untuk? Bekerja. Seperti yang saya katakan awal tadi, bukan bermakna saya tidak menyayangi mereka, tetapi fikiran saya berserabut dengan perkara-perkara lain menyebabkan saya jadi kurang prihatin dengan tindak balas spontan anak-anak. Malu saya apabila memikirkannya...

Untuk itu, sempena tahun baru ini (1433H dan 2012M), saya berazam untuk menjadi lebih attentive terhadap anak-anak... I want to be able to spend more time with my children even though I am a working mom. They said you can't have the best of two worlds. Well, true, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make the best of both worlds, yes?

Let us look at the video again. Then look at our child/children. Look at them in the FACE. You'll see the purity in them. The honesty in them. The always-forever-love-you-mommy/daddy in them... And try to make up for the time we've lost along the way, before it is too late...

Remember, to a child, LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E...

Love to all...
(And to my babies - Ryan Asyraff, Ryan Aimar and Rose Aiesya, and not forgetting to hubby as well.. :) )

Speech Impairment & My Two Little Sunshines

I came across an article recently on the effect of speech impairment to children if it is not treated before they start primary school. The title of the article was "Children with untreated speech problems 'do poorly at school'". It was published online by the www.theage.com.au just on Wednesday, 16 November 2011.

Here is the link:
http://www.theage.com.au/national/children-with-untreated-speech-problems-do-poorly-at-school-20111115-1nhfu.html

I was kind of sleppy and was thinking of switching off my notebook and head to bed when I saw the article. I was attracted to reading it further because I was just curious. The article has got me thinking... About the boys... What else do I need to do in addition to the therapy sessions that they are currently having? Am beginning to feel nervous about their future. Will they ever be able to socialise with other people? How will people perceive them? Will they grow out of their current state? :'(

Sadly, I don't know... Hubby and I, together with the therapies and specialists are still trying to find their special talents. So far, from our observation, Asyraff is more inclined towards music and puzzles. Aimar is more on sports and cars. What does that tell me? Other than the obvious, I don't really know...

Hmmm... We still have a lot to do, a lot to follow up, a lot to find out... Dear Allah, please help us...

Happy Birthday, Rose Aiesya!



Rose Aiesya at 50 days old.
Pic taken on the morning of New Year's Day 2010.



13 November... 2 years ago, on this date, at about 5:03 PM, I gave birth to a beautiful bouncy baby girl. We named her ROSE AIESYA. We named her beautifully as such because...

(1) We wanted her name to synchronise with her brothers -- 2 names, the first name to start with the letter 'R' from their father's (Raswanizam), and the middle name starts with the letter 'A' from mine (Alyssa).

(2) I love the flower, Rose. I love everything about the flower. The sweet musky scent. The features (pretty but be careful of the thorns!), the wonderful colours... Everything. Also, I read a baby names book and it said 'Rose' means 'a beautiful flower', and that is what I would like this little bundle of joy of ours to become... A beautiful person. Hubby also mentioned he liked the name 'Rose'.. :)

(3) Both hubby and I simply loved the name 'AIESYA'. Not because it was the name of one of the wives of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. We had a few other names, but somehow 'Aiesya' clicked well with 'Rose'. Hence the combination... 'Aiesya' also means 'alive and well'...

(4) 'R-O-S-E' as first name, to match with her brothers' first name, 'R-Y-A-N'. They both have 4 letters. (I will explain why we picked Ryan when the time comes...).

(5) The second name was spelled as 'AIESYA' because we would like it to have some links to her brothers' second name. 'AI-' from AIMAR, and 'SY' from ASYRAFF.

So, there you go... The reasons why we named our little princess 'Rose Aiesya'...


Rose at a family photoshoot. She was about 7 months old. (27/06/2010)

When I found out that I was pregnant in early 2009, I prayed really hard for the baby to be a girl. I really did... I wanted a girl because we already have a pair of twin boys, and so I thought a baby sister would be nice for them... :)

Well, we were only able to find out about the baby's sex until I was about 5-6 months pregnant. Even so, we were still in doubt... Why? Because whenever we went for shopping people would tell me that I was carrying a boy! Why did they say so? Because of the shape of my belly! Seriously, I was disappointed kadang-kadang whenever I heard them said so, because I really wanted a girl... There was one time while we were doing the routine scan, I asked my doctor if he's sure that the baby was going to be a girl, and he said (this was funny..) "Yes dear. No doubt about it. It's a burger! I don't see any hotdog in the middle!". He must have gotten fed-up with me asking him the same question during every visit.

At another time, he said, "The only 2 people that you can believe at this time are your hubby, and me. And trust me, you're having a girl."

Then he said, "May be you can bet with them. If they're right, you pay them. And if I am right, they pay you!" Hehehe... I dare not think what he must be thinking then...

We didn't prepare much then. I was still skeptical. When we shopped for baby's clothes, we sticked to white colour. Ya, I did buy some other colours but more often than not, we'd just picked white. Plus, we have kept some of the brothers' clothes when they were still babies, so that saved us a lot of money.

I was admitted to Pantai Medical Centre in Bangsar at noon on 13 November. In fact Dr. Raman had asked me during the routine check up the day before if we could do it in the evening. I told her I wasn't ready. I was expecting and hoping that I could have the baby the normal way, but unfortunately, I had to deliver the baby via c-section. I was already overdue by 10 days. The doctor was hesitant to induce the baby due to my previous history, so, pakai tingkap la lagi... While I was getting ready for the ops, my Mama called me. She apologised for not being able to be by my side. I cried... Hubby looked worried.

Just before 4:00 PM, they wheeled me to the prep room. I had the same team of doctors as when I was having my twins in 2006. Felt kind of relieved a bit, I know I was in good hands. Hubby came  bit later to join me. At 5:03 PM, I heard her...I cried. Hubby cried too I guess... Tears of happiness I supposed... I was relieved. I was ecstatic. I was overjoyed! It was a girl indeed... She was quite a big baby, weighted at 3.52kg at birth. Feisty and loud as well... She still is, today... :)

Our lovely Rose Aiesya is two today...

"To my darling Rose... Happy 2nd birthday, sweetie! Mama, Papa and abangs love you so, so, so much! You added colours to our lives, and you brought so much love and happiness into our family... May Allah bless you always..."

Hugs hugs OXOX

The many faces of Rose in 2011...



The Discovery...

I have promised in my previous post ("Autism... In My Family") that I will share my experiences we had with our twin boys who had been diagnosed with autism. In fact, I'll be more than happy to share. I don't see any point hiding or keeping them to myself anyway. I would love to hear from any parents who have dealt or are currently dealing with such issue with their child / children. I want to know... I want to learn... I want to help my children to be better...

Year 2009. The boys were almost 2 then. They were a pair of bubbly, cheerful, and active kids. Memang tidak pernah pun terlintas di dalam kepala bahawa the twins akan jadi seperti ini - menghidap  autisme. Never. Not a slightest idea. We've always visited their paedi regularly, as per the schedule required for vaccinations and routine check-ups since their birth. We never missed. Mereka pun tak pernah sakit teruk. Demam-deman biasa tu, ada lah. But they were never seriously ill.

One morning, I was at my OBGYN's office, waiting for my regular appointment. I was reading a magazine. Hubby was outside the office attending to calls on his mobile phone. As I was flipping through the pages, I came across an article on autism. A very short, one page article. If I remember it right, the title was "Autism and Its Symptoms". I was drawn to read it, I had no idea why. But I read it. ALL, word by word. My heart almost stopped. I had to read the article over and over again, just to be sure that I read it right. I waved to hubby, signalling him to come and sit next to me. He came, and I showed the article to him. I didn't say a word. He stared at it. (I supposed he was reading). Then he turned to me and looked me right in the eyes, and said, "Let's get them properly checked". I whispered, "I think they are", and nodded my head at the same time.

At the boys' next check-up, I asked the paedi if he was also of the same opinion about the boys. He didn't immediately say yes, nor was he denying it. He suggested that we bring the boys to see a child developmental specialist, Dr. Rajini, who was attached to another private hospital. He gave us a referral letter, but I left the letter in the drawer at home and only took it out months later.

Why did I do that, you asked? Firstly, it was not on purpose. I somehow left the letter in the drawer and had forgotten about it. When I did remember, both hubby and I were tight up with work. And when I did remember (again...), I had this chill down my spine thinking about all the possibilities of the diagnosis. That they might have it. Somehow one day in late October, I found the courage to call Dr. Rajini's office to fix an appointment. We met her in August 2010. By the time we met Dr. Rajini, we have already enrolled the boys into a kindy nearby our house. Now... Getting them to be accepted into a school (kindy) was another different story... I'll save that for next time.

So, back to our meeting with Dr. Rajini. She met the boys. She talked and played with them. Asked us all sorts of questions (which we didn't mind really, whatever that could help her to help us). After about one and a half hours with her, came the diagnosis. She confirmed that the boys within the austism spectrum disorder. Asyraff was diagnosed as 'moderate', and Aimar as 'mild'. Rasa nak tercabut nyawa. Bagi yang tidak mengalaminya mungkin tidak akan faham perasaan saya dan suami ketika itu. We were both speechless. I cried right in front of her. My worst nightmare came true, eventually...

She comforted us as best she could. She strongly recommended for the boys not to be institutionalised because their case were not severe. She gave a list of centres for us to explore to send the boys for their occupational and speech therapy. I was still crying. Then I asked her, "Are we too late?". She answered, "Let's not think about it - whether we're late or early or just in time. We just work towards getting them better..", and smiled. Well, her warm smile managed to calm me down a bit though... After finalising all the bills, we left Dr. Rajini's office with one aim in our minds - GET THEM BETTER... And since then we have never looked back. it. Until today. We are still working on it....