Mixed Emotions... And fate? Guess not...

I was happy yesterday. I was happy yesterday because I managed to help someone achieve something. I was thrilled when I was told that it all materialised because of my help - because of my "one simple instruction", he said. Oh, how happy I was yesterday when I heard that I made a difference to some people's lives! I think it was one of my best moments in life. I went home with a very happy feeling. I was still feeling happy early this morning when I woke up.

But then, the good feeling didn't last long. Someone screwed my mood early in the morning and really screwed my day! Errghh!! If I could pull the head of that someone, I would! I hate having people screwing my day very early in the morning.

I can get upset easily, yes, that I admit. But the level of my 'upset-ness' depends on how severe the screw-up is. Well, who doesn't? Today, it was between medium-to-high. To me, what happened this morning was just plain stupid! And I clearly don't understand why!

When I asked for the explanation, all I get was, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to. My mind just went blank, I don't know how to answer." Bull-*%^#!! All Isaid thereafter was, "Yea, that explains a lot."

You know, I don't like people who say something in front of me, and say another thing behind. It hurts. And I don't like people treating me like I'm dumb, or stupid, when I know that I am not. I may not be a Phd holder, or scored 25A1s in school, or hold a high-rank position in a company, but I do know a thing or two about life. I do know how to be courteous to people. I do know that it is bad to hurt people's feelings, or lie to people. It is well known, even a toddler can understand that.

Ahhh... I get frustrated with life sometimes. At times, I feel that life is just plain unfair. I tried the method of blaming it to fate, but then again, fate is fate... What happened to me this morning WAS CLEARLY NOT FATE. That I know.

Here In My Home - by Malaysian Artistes for Unity

Here is the video clip of the song I have mentioned in my previous entry. It's fun to watch. Trust me. Enjoy it! =)

To the guys who wrote the song, made the video, performed the song, acted in the video, a BIG HUG to all of you. I LOVE IT!

I love Malaysia!

I am feeling... kind of different today. I mean, different than the normal days. I myself don't know why. I don't think it's because of the weather (fyi, it's kind of cloudy at this particular moment). Nor do I think it's because of the incidents during the weekends (ergghh... Don't ask what happened...).

I woke up pretty late this morning. I know it's a working day, but somehow I just couldn't leave my bed. The weather was nice this morning. After a long while blinking and staring at the ceiling, I decided to get up and get ready for work. The traffic was grrreatt! Probably because it's a school holiday, so I managed to reach my office within half hour.

I did my usual routines - I put down my bags, switch on my PC, change my shoes to bedroom slippers (yes, bedroom slippers, they're very comfortable and I love it!), make myself a cup of Nescafe 3-in-1 Hi-Calcium, sit down comfortably in front of my PC, check my emails and online newspaper while sipping my morning coffee with a pack of Jacob's Hi-Fibre Crackers as breakfast (don't question my diet!).

Now, the one special thing that happened to me today was, I bumped into this one video clip sent by a friend through You Tube. It is by the Malaysian Artistes For Unity, a song called "Here In My Home". It has a very catchy tune... Nice lyrics. Towards the end of the song, I felt a rush of blood through my veins... That's when I started to notice the things around me, how I woke up this morning, my two beautiful boys, my life, and I thought, "I am lucky I am a Malaysian and I AM HERE!!"... And I decided I should write about it.

I know the situation in Malaysia currently isn't as good as it used to be. We hear all kinds of news everyday on the tube, news on political parties fighting each other, prominent figures being investigated by ACA, babies being dumped in a manhole, murders and accidents everywhere... Many of us think that it is not safe / not fun / not good to be in Malaysia nowadays. Some thought of migrating. I, too, thought of migrating once. I popped the thought to Ras. But after a while, I thought, I don't think I can be what / who I am if it is not because of this country. It has shaped me to be who I am today.

I am not perfect, but I am not a bad person either (at least I don't kill or cause troubles to other people). I may not be rich, but I am living a comfortable life here. I have a job. I still have my family, although we live far apart, but at least I can just buy an airplane ticket and go home any time I want to without even worrying about visa and stuff.

But the one thing that really strike me is the unity among the Malaysians. I am truly amazed by it actually. it is not easy to foster, let alone maintain, such a strong bond between all the races in Malaysia. Our forefathers started it. They fought for it. Of course, it wasn't a smooth ride. It wasn't a smooth transition. The people then experienced a lot of chaos along the way to freedom, to unity. But they eventually learned to bury their differences, and agree on one thing - FREEDOM and UNITY. If they can do it then, why can't we today? Many of our forefathers didn't go to school then. Many didn't earn a degree, Masters, or Phd. But they know one thing that is best for them - that is to unite for peace and freedom for the country they love.

I have on my PC the song "Here In My Home" playing while I am writing this. I have tears in my eyes. I feel melancholy...

Anyway, I just want to say, "I love Malaysia!!". I don't care what people think. I love my country. So here, in the spirit of Merdeka, I would like to share with you this song, Here In My Home, performed by our very own Malaysian Artistes. I should say they did a very, very good job with the song and the video clip. Thank you guys!!! A job very well done and delivered! Mmmmuuahhh!! =)

For PEACE and UNITY!!! Malaysia Merdeka!

(I managed to download the video clip from www.malaysianartistesforunity.info. Please, help to spread the word around. Let's get together and support the cause for Malaysian Unity. Oh, and fyi, I don't get paid for this, in case you're wondering why am I so into this. It's just because I love this country so much I can't bear the thought of losing it...)

Ahhh... Life...

I decided to try blogging today... Don't ask me why I suddenly want to try it, I just don't have the answer. Well, I have plenty of reasons I guess, but for once, today, I have finally decided to try blogging! Phewww...

I am not too sure how long will I be able to keep this though... Tried once before, but it went down the drain after a couple of months, simply because I thought I wasn't good enough. So I stopped. I continued the conventional way of recording my thoughts and feelings - the diary. I have been writing in a diary for years now - it started out when I was still in primary school. I was a rebelious kind of girl. So, whenever I get upset, I will usually vent out my anger or frustrations in writing... It helped a lot I think.

I have stopped writing in a diary for quite some time now. Of course, occassionally I still do write. Well, sometimes I write on a piece of paper, sometimes I type it out on my laptop - just to get things out of my chest. After a while I thought, I should just try to blog. Which I did - TODAY! =)

Ahhhhh... What a relief, finally.... =D